Giving Thanks?

Well here it comes, brace yourself for a bunch of shiz! So a lot, a lot has happened in the past 2-3 months since I last updated this. Ok lets start from where I left off, well about a week after my last post my car was broken into and I was hit upside the face with a beer bottle, its a long story and old news at this point haha. So moving on, I went home for fall break and had a great time just relaxing and hanging out with the fam. Its always nice to have a dose of home, to bring me back to reality sometimes. Well after that I wasn't planning on going home again till Thanksgiving, but Alex went in for an ultrasound and we found out the baby had a severe heart defect, so I rushed home to be with her. It was bad, really bad. Aortic stenosis, as the doctor was explaining it I knew exactly what he was talking about thank you A&P 2. I lost it, I broke down not completely because I was so upset about the baby, but that it was happening to my baby sister. Anyways I stayed home for 5 days, but had to come back to school. A week after I left, mom and Alex went to Dallas, Tx to hopefully find someone out there who could help the baby, since no one was really equipped to help any closer. Anyways they were there for a week, and we all really hopeful. Then Alex's water broke and they did an emergency c-section. Little Emory Zayne Thayer fought a tough battle but died shortly after birth.

Ok so that was the update now here is what i'm feeling: aldjfkdajflkdjflkdjflkjdkladflkjf;kjd;klfjdl;kfjdl;kjfdlk;ajf;ksdjfoirewuiorjkv!!!!
I think that explains the past few months of life pretty well, a jumbled up shit fest! I'm an emotional diaster and the only thing that keeps me from losing it completely are my sisters. Joining AST as seriously been a life changing decision for me and honestly I would have fallen apart a loooooong time ago if not for their constant support. Today, I would have spent Thanksgiving alone but one of my sisters Melsco, brought me food and spent a good part of the day with me, we laughed, I drank, we had a good ole time haha. I have a hard time dealing with my emotions, typically I put on a happy face and just keep it inside. But I can honestly say loosing my nephew, a sweet, precious, little baby that I never even got to hold has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with. There is a void there now, for months the excitement was there, his baby shower was supposed to be this weekend, and now nothing just grief. Grief is one of those emotions that you really can't describe, to me there are different types of grief. The grief you feel when you lose an elderly loved one is sad, but at the same time you feel at ease because you know they lived a long, fufilled life.But the death of a child, at any age is never right, they havent lived, havent experienced life, a first step, a first word, its those little life experiences that you mourn and yearn for. I'm so proud of my sister for being strong, I know she has a long grieving process ahead, but she's strong and she will get through it. I'm proud of my mom for being there for her, and helping her thru this when we all know the easiest thing to do would be to break down, she has not. I just want to thank everyone for their support during this time, and please continue to pray, these wounds will not be easily healed.

--Life is filled with happiness, sadness, tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions but when life gets you down, just be strong about it and keep your head up high and have faith in all things in life. Always remember: God is at your side, always.